


[Ajin AU] Do No Harm

by goodwineandcheese



Series: Monster/Ajin Crossover AU [1]
Category: Ajin: Demi-Human, Monster
Genre: Consent Issues - Discussed, Discrimination, Emotional Tenma, Gen, Grimmer Suffers, Heroic Tenma, More Reasons to Hate Zeman, Tenma Is An Angel, Unethical medical procedures, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 04:10:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodwineandcheese/pseuds/goodwineandcheese
Summary: Ajin/Monster crossover. Doctor Tenma is brought on to participate in a medical research initiative, wherein Ajin volunteer themselves for medical testing in exchange for protection. Tenma quickly starts to learn that this project goes against his beliefs as a doctor, and moves to take matters into his own hands.





	[Ajin AU] Do No Harm

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Ajin/Monster crossover fic inspired by [this wonderful art piece](http://cloverdraws.tumblr.com/post/160889066039/a-naoki-urasawas-monster-ajin-au-drawing-for-an) by cloverinblue! Due to the nature of Ajin, this fic deals with a lot of unpleasant themes along the lines of torture, discrimination, dubious consent to participate in medical testing, etc..I won’t be writing graphic torture or anything, but the themes will be implied/discussed. 
> 
> I mostly tossed Monster characters into different roles, save for a few which are just random names I threw in, lmao. Zeman especially is to be loathed...
> 
> I sort of tried to set up some backstory to this but it's been so long since I've seen Ajin...idk I tried to make something semi realistic that could work but UHHHH
> 
> Also I know the organization I named has an english acronym.....I just figured it'd be weird if I swapped into German randomly for that one part.
> 
> As a last note as much as I wanted to make this as believable as possible, idfk how doctor stuff works and I didn't really feel like spending 20 hours on 12 different wikipedia tabs to learn specific procedures LMAO. So I sort of....brushed vaguely on that part...
> 
> I’m so sorry Grimmer you deserve better :(

Tenma was being transferred to a new position in a research facility…..

It wasn’t really what he _wanted_ to be doing, but director Heinemann had made a good case for it. He was young - incredibly young, and while he aspired to become Chief of Surgery, some of his colleagues had more attractive resumes; their experience reached beyond Eisler Memorial Hospital, and while it was true Tenma had worked with his father in Japan for a time, it didn’t have as much of an impact when compared against his cohorts; these other hospitals were familiar to his employers, while Tenma working under his father was neither relatable nor especially _ideal;_ there was the assumption of bias of the parent...his father pulling strings, his efforts not really what they appeared to be. True enough he was viewed as a genius at the operating table, but those few factors made his candidacy for a higher position less attractive and less likely. At least not without a little more experience under his belt.

The offer had come directly to him; they weren’t just looking to hire on a surgeon to their team, they knew _exactly_ who they wanted. Tenma had taken some time to look into the facility in question; it was a Government-funded location, though seemed to operate separately. And the project in question...they were called HAMSA, the Human-Ajin Medical Science Association. They had been founded four years ago, according to their official site, by a man named Klaus Poppe. It hadn’t been particularly descriptive, but what he gathered from the info page was that this organization took Ajins under their wing, protecting them from outside cruelty - and together with the help of skilled doctors this organization worked toward “innovative new solutions to progress medicine worldwide”.

He’d dug a little more around their site; there were a few success stories, photographs of doctors and Ajins alike, and a few employment opportunities - along with a call to Ajins currently in hiding that sought a safe space. He noted that the position he himself was offered wasn’t listed; they probably kept some of their employment opportunities private, specifically seeking individuals with a particular reputation in their field. 

It...looked _interesting,_ it was definitely the first that Tenma had seen of any sort of conjoint operation between humans and Ajin in the medical field. He didn’t know much about them beyond how they came to know what they were; it was an uncomfortable thought, imagining that there were beings like that - unable to die, properly. He didn’t really pay much mind to their existence, but he heard enough about their treatment worldwide. It was a step in the right direction for the Government to answer their cries for equality. It wasn’t far _enough,_ but having a sort of sanctuary like this was a good start. More than that it showed that these Ajin were good people...willing to help support human progress in the medical world, saving human lives. 

It was _interesting._ Not _really_ where he wanted to be, but he trusted Heinemann’s word. Besides, the opportunity to meet an Ajin personally was actually something he looked forward to; it just wasn’t the same, reading or hearing about something and personally experiencing it. So, he'd accepted, and met with the woman who'd sent the invite in the first place. He was surprised to hear he wouldn't need to be interviewed - between his reputation and the recommendation from Heinemann, it was simply deemed non-competitive, and, if he accepted, he could start at his own convenience.

* * *

Locating the facility itself wasn’t that hard; for however vague the information HAMSA provided was, the map had marked it well, and the various photos of the facility grounds were easily recognizable on approach. Tenma took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he made his way toward the parking space, furrowing his brow a little as he made his way down the lanes. Not only was it largely full, it also wasn’t _free…_ he’d anticipated that facility parking might be free for the employees, but perhaps his hopes had been too high. Oh, well. It wasn’t the most obscene cost he’d seen.

His heart was beating a little fast as he made his way to the door, tugging a little at his tie. His throat was a little dry...he knew it was just nerves, he’d get over it soon enough. Right now it was just a very new environment and that had him a little anxious.

He tried not to look completely lost when stepping inside, but he’d never been here before; there was no helping the awed look and pause, and the brief moment of confusion as he tried to get his bearings. There was an administrator somewhere...not where he thought they would be. He glanced left, then right - 

Ah, there.

He’d been expecting the front desk to be….well. At the _front_ , but it was tucked off to the side, though the woman behind it was smiling at him, patiently waiting. He steeled himself as he made his approach, consciously projecting confidence in his posture; open, squared, head high, and...as relaxed as he could manage. He cleared his throat. 

“I’m...Kenzo Tenma, I was told a doctor Boyer would see me? I’m new so I don’t have access yet...”

She smiled, reaching for the phone at her side. “Please take a seat, Doctor. He'll be around shortly. We've been anticipating your arrival.”

Ah….so he was already the talk of the place. Tenma gave a nod, heading toward the comfortable looking chairs by the window. He let his mind wander a moment, back to Eisler Memorial Hospital. He hoped this was the right decision. He was going to miss some of his colleagues. The nurses had always looked up to him, and Becker had been his friend since he first arrived in Germany. But, it wasn't going to be a permanent absence. He'd learn all there was to learn here, gain some useful experience, and be back in a...well. When he felt he was ready. Besides, he'd keep in touch. Becker insisted that he needed to find himself a girlf--

“Tenma, I presume?”

He jerked in his seat, standing up as a tall man in perhaps his early forties approached, a smile on his face. Tenma opened his mouth, shut it, then just nodded. The man reached out a hand. “Boyer. It's excellent to finally meet you, Doctor. I'll be honest, with your reputation, everyone's been buzzing about your acceptance all week. Not to put any pressure on you of course. We're just excited to have you.”

It was a well-meaning sentiment, but of course, he did now feel somewhat pressured to live up to their expectations.

Boyer chuckled, seeming to catch on. “Don't worry, we won't leave you hanging. This is all new to you; we'll have you shadowing one of our teams before we get you too involved. You'll be behind the glass observing for a while to get used to how things work here, then we'll put you on the field. Hope that's okay for the famous Doctor Tenma!” 

That sounded comforting. Tenma relaxed a little, smiling thinly as he followed Boyer past the front desk, and through the gated doors. “I'll get you a building pass as soon as possible. If you have photo ID with you, we won't need to take your picture and can fill out relevant information based on that, as long as it's been updated in the last three years.”

“I have my driver's license.”

Boyer smiled, leading them to the elevator doors. “Great, then your first order of business will just be to scan that and send it to Claire. You met her already, she works the admin duties here.”

“R...right. Thank you.” A pause. “If...you don't mind, Doctor Boyer...could you tell me a little more about this facility? I haven't heard of any other co-operative organizations that take in Ajin like this...how does it work?”

They stepped into their destination floor - the sixth, Tenma hadn't been paying attention, but the rooms were numbered 610, 615 and so on - and Boyer took them down the hall, stopping at room 620 and pushing open the door. “I can’t speak for the global environment, but HAMSA is definitely the only effort in Europe. As far as how it works…it’s a relationship of mutual benefit. We keep Ajins that come to us off the public record, relocate them to a safe environment to live, and give them around the clock protection when out in public. In exchange, the Ajin is assigned to one of our medical teams and participates in research and testing that team is working on. We’re upfront about our procedures, so they know what it is they’re getting into.”

It was a lot of information to take in at once, but it sounded like a decent system. Tenma looked ahead of him; the room they’d just entered was nothing like the hall outside. It was pristine, stark white, with three men talking as they bustled about. Two of them had clipboards, while the third was pulling on gloves. He looked up, smiling at the new arrivals and setting his gloves aside for a moment, walking over with a nod of his head.

“Boyer, and Tenma, is it? You’re a lot younger than I expected. I’m Doctor Zeman. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Right now, I’m doing what _your_ job will be, Doctor Tenma.”

Zeman reached out, a wide smile on his face. He was tall, and looked friendly enough. Tenma took his hand, giving a firm shake. Zeman gestured towards the two men with clipboards. “These are Doctors Reid and Newman. You’ll be staying behind the glass with them on the observation deck. Have you been to the supply closet yet? We’ll get you sorted out before we start...right now we’re just setting everything up anyway.”

“Setting up….”

“That’s right, doctor. We don’t start procedures with the Ajins for another hour or so, but us doctors have to make sure everything’s ready to go in advance.” Zeman paused, rubbing his chin. “Actually, would you like to meet it first? The Ajin I mean. It’s in the waiting room, if you’d like to introduce yourself. Boyer will show you the way. And drop by the supply closet first! There should be a coat in your size, you look pretty small. It’s usually the big guys like me that have a hard time finding anything in our size!”

Boyer chuckled, gesturing for Tenma to follow him. He was a little overwhelmed; he hadn’t been sure what he was expecting, but he definitely _wasn’t_ anticipating that Boyer had been talking about a _literal_ glass wall. He wasn’t used to being separated from his team like that; in surgery everyone was on the floor together. He’d have to get used to that.

* * *

Grimmer was waiting patiently.

It was almost time. He'd be called for soon. Boyer would be along shortly, as always. Only...it was a little strange...

Boyer’s team had seemed very excited for the last two weeks. He learned to recognize behaviours in them even behind the masks, and their expressions from behind the glass. There was a definite energy that felt different between them...and when he had asked, he was sure he’d seen a real glimmer of light in Boyer’s eyes before he answered. 

They were taking on a skilled young surgeon named Tenma to their team.

It made him wonder if perhaps Zeman was being transferred to another team, or leaving the project entirely. Or...did they simply want an extra set of hands to assist in the procedures? Tenma….it was a name he had heard before, in the news. He had saved the life of a famous opera singer in a very complex surgery, from which he was well on the way to recovery. 

He really was a very skilled surgeon. Grimmer could see why Boyer was in such high spirits. No doubt having a young doctor with such an excellent reputation would raise the views of the project, perhaps leading to an increase in funds. They were definitely celebrating a success with the young doctor’s acceptance of their offer.

That was two weeks ago, when he had asked. Today….this was Doctor Tenma’s first day. Perhaps he would get to meet him. Though, sometimes it was better not to know. It was different, putting a face to the men in masks. When it was only a man in a mask, it was easier not to think about what their handshake had felt like, or the look of their smile. 

The waiting room was comfortable and warm. Aside from him there were two others, one who looked about his age, and the other one a girl who looked quite a bit younger, perhaps twenty. They were only two of the five in this place, each with their own stories. They were supportive of one another, and of the rare new arrivals. It wasn’t an easy way to live, and there were many bad days for them, but….it was the lesser evil. This way, they were protected against other, worse fates. It was easy to forget that, while staring up at masked faces, bright lights, at the men behind the glass taking notes and watching. But that was why they had one another.

The door opened, and the girl stiffened. She was still the newest, which made this especially hard for her. Grimmer turned toward her, offering what he hoped was a calming sort of smile. She looked up, relaxed a little, then looked back to the door. Grimmer watched too, as the door opened and Boyer stepped inside, a second doctor close behind him.

“Grimmer? If you’d come out into the hall, please.”

He gave a nod, once more smiling at the girl on his way by. He read a look in her eyes that said, _good luck._

That was very kind of her, but he didn’t need it. He was used to it now.

The door closed behind him and Boyer stepped aside, giving Grimmer a better look at the young doctor. “I’d like you to meet Doctor Tenma.”

He had a friendly face and warm eyes. They were very bright, with perhaps wonderment or curiosity. He’d probably never met an Ajin before. He seemed a little bit anxious, although...it was his first day in a new environment, so that was reasonable. But, he looked like a kind person. He seemed that way.

It probably would have been better if he hadn’t met this one. That was too bad.

Tenma stepped forward, with that pleasant face, reaching out to shake his hand, and Grimmer reciprocated. Ah, his handshake wasn’t bad….it was firm, but not so firm as some of the others. His was less confident, matching the mildly anxious atmosphere about him. Grimmer brightened the smile on his face. “Doctor Tenma. I’m Wolfgang Grimmer. It’s good to finally meet you.”

* * *

Tenma wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he stepped into that room, but the man introducing himself as Wolfgang Grimmer seemed….well. He didn’t seem… _different,_ in any way. He looked like an ordinary man, really. He had a friendly face, a soft voice, and a firm handshake. Tenma opened his mouth, at first intending to introduce himself, before faltering - realizing that his name was already known. He backtracked, taking another approach.

“I’m glad to meet you, Mr. Grimmer. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

Boyer stepped forward, hands clasped behind his back. “Tenma will be staying on the observation deck for the first little while, but he’ll be replacing Zeman in the operating room once we get him used to the environment.” There was a clap to Tenma’s shoulder, and he gave a startled - albeit quickly stifled - gasp. “This won’t be anything like Eisler, I can tell you that much, Doctor!” He stepped back, giving Tenma room again and, thankfully, his personal space. “Mr. Grimmer, we’re just about ready to get started. I’ll take the new doctor back to the observation deck, and then I’ll be back with Zeman to collect you. Will you be ready to start in a few minutes?”

There was no real visible change in Grimmer; he still had that same smile on his face, an expression that had changed very little since the door first opened. He nodded his head, stepping back toward the waiting room. “I think that should be just fine!” He gave a broad wave in Tenma’s direction. “It was very nice to meet you, doctor!”

“Yes...and you--!”

Tenma almost didn’t have time to blurt out a response before the door closed again, leaving him and Boyer alone in the hallway once more. He waited for Boyer to take the lead again, following behind, back down to room 620. He pushed the door, opening it all the way and leaning his back against it, peering between Tenma and the men already inside. 

“All right, Zeman, we can head down to the operating room. Reid, Newman, do you have everything set up? Can we get started in five?”

“Yeah, everything’s good on our end.”

“All right. Hear from you in a few.”

A few more words were exchanged, but Tenma didn’t quite catch it. He had shuffled his way inside, and was taking a better look around. The pristine bright white seemed brighter, but everything beyond the glass separator was dark. He could vaguely make out shapes, but nothing concrete.

“Doctor Tenma.”

He glanced back, looking toward the one that spoke. Reid….

“Before we start, I just want you to know - if you have any questions, please direct them to me. This is going to be a lot for you to take in, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s a bit of a learning curve for someone who’s never worked with Ajin before.”

There was a smile from Newman. “You’re lucky to be on our team, though. Grimmer’s one of the older Ajin, so he’s a lot easier to manage than some of the newer ones. He’s been doing this for a while. What did you think when you met him?”

Tenma took a moment with that question, furrowing his brow. What did he think?

Not….much out of the ordinary. He seemed like a normal man. There hadn’t been anything different about him from what he could see...not outwardly. But that was what made Ajin difficult to differentiate from humans, wasn’t it? They could only be determined as Ajins _after_ their initial death…

****

**“All right, enough of that up there, eyes down here. We’re about to get started.”**

****

Boyer’s voice over the comms was a bit surprising, but at least it saved Tenma from having to answer a question he really didn’t know _how_ to respond to. Instead, he followed the lead of the other two, looking out into the second room, which was now brightened by the overhead lights. Down below were Boyer and Zeman, both suited up to begin an operation. Lying on the table was the Ajin, Wolfgang Grimmer.

He was looking up into the observation room, that smile from before no longer present. Boyer and Zeman were standing at either side of him, and....even though Tenma was this far away, he could still feel the atmosphere change to something tense.

He hadn’t quite put it together at the time, but something was starting to seem….

Tenma cleared his throat, sudden dryness taking hold. “Just what sort of research do you focus on?”

Reid glanced back to Tenma quickly, smiling as he turned his focus forward again. Boyer was about to begin. Newman gave a quick response to confirm they were ready to start. “The research focus itself changes over time as we progress to a certain point. Grimmer’s helped us make a major breakthrough in STEM research, but that means we have to put that work on hold until it can be officially approved. Right now we’re testing new surgical equipment. You wouldn’t have seen this yet; it’s _very_ new technology, and allows the surgeon to….”

**”Patient is under heavy sedation. I will now make the initial incision….”**

“...extremely fine detail work that you…”

**”...proceed with first layer tissue removal…..”**

“...urrently attempting a very difficult procedure in order to...”

It didn’t matter who was speaking; Reid beside him, or Boyer documenting his and Zeman’s actions from down below. Tenma heard none of it.

All he heard was the familiar long, somber tone that meant…

“Ah….it was a failure.”

Tenma couldn’t look away.

Even when that lonely tone became a steady beep again, he still couldn’t stop staring. Grimmer had just died…..he came back, but those actions….if that had been an ordinary human….

He felt his heart skip in his chest when he realized that Grimmer….was awake. Was awake, and those eyes were….looking right at him.

**”Back to sleep he goes….”**

A mask was placed over Grimmer’s face, the drugs taking quick effect, knocking him out once again. But it still felt like Grimmer was watching him.

“All right, Tenma, can you come here for a moment?”

He turned his head slowly, glancing over to see Reid. Neither he nor Newman looked perturbed in the slightest. They didn’t even look shaken at all, nothing. Reid was gesturing for him to come forward. Slowly Tenma moved closer, eyeing the older doctor warily. Reid seemed to catch onto his distress, giving a small smile, some form of sympathy there in his eyes. Only it was directed toward the wrong person.

“You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. Like Boyer said, this is nothing like working in a hospital. Failure is _expected_ a lot of the time. But the work that the Ajin let us do is extremely helpful. Normally this sort of testing would be completely impossible, not to mention the ethical implications of subjecting someone to a procedure that could kill them...but because an Ajin resets itself after death, we’re able to operate differently with them than we would with a human. If not for the Ajin, we’d honestly be a lot further behind in the medical world than we are now.” Reid reached out to pat Tenma’s shoulder. He barely noticed the contact at all; it felt like he was somewhere between reality and some twisted dream. His feet really didn’t feel like they were on the ground.

“I know this probably seems barbaric right now, but you’ll get used to it. Remember, we haven’t forced them to do anything; we’re upfront with them about the terms of these arrangements, and besides that, they won’t ever be permanently injured as a result of our actions. And it’s not like we’re constantly experimenting on them, we’re not twisted like that. They have two days to themselves and an hour-long break each day. Trust me, this is a lot better than anything else they’ll ever get.” 

Reid patted his shoulder twice, gesturing to a laptop computer to the left. “Now what I wanted to show you was this…..you see those data fields? Any time we perform an operation, we have to log the results into here. Now, you won’t be working behind the glass for very long, but it’s important for you to know the process. So I want you right now to take my observations here - “ He held out his clipboard. “-and put them into the database. Newman and I will take observations on the second attempt.”

It was a simple enough task. Date and time, name of the doctors in the operating room, name of the Ajin, nature of the operation, and results.

It was so easy.

It was so easy just to write the word _fatality_ and call it a failed experiment.

So easy to dismiss a life lost because that life just came back again.

By the time they had stopped, there had been two more failures. But even after a successful procedure, they still...how had Boyer put it…..

**”Procedure marked a success. Resetting the patient for the second test.”**

They called it ‘resetting’ when they broke his neck to prepare him for another procedure. They called it ‘failure’ when their procedure resulted in unintended fatality. It was a direct aversion to certain words; kill, murder. It didn’t matter that they were _resetting_ the Ajin. They were consciously, as doctors, ending a life. And even when it was a failure….the procedure was still the willful and knowing use of untested medical practices on a living being, resulting in death. And when it was over, when they stopped for break...watching from the observation deck, he couldn’t help the queasy feeling as Boyer helped the man to his feet and led him out, _smiling_ and talking to him as if he hadn’t just…

“Okay Tenma. We’re taking a break now to give the Ajin a rest,”

_’the Ajin’, like he’s something alien and strange._

“so we’re going to lock this place up. You all done with the database?”

He didn’t speak, just gave a nod.

“Alright. Shut it down for now and we’ll pick up in an hour. Boyer wants to see you, but make sure you’re back at quarter to; we need to prep everything for the next session. And, for when you’re working with Boyer downstairs in a few weeks, you’ll have to take care of cleanup at the _end_ of each session, too. Us doctors have a little less free time than you’d think!”

Tenma stopped in the doorway, that queasiness back again.

That was right….he was expected to….he’d be down there, taking _part_ in…

He couldn’t leave that room faster if he’d tried. He headed towards the washroom, raising a hand to push the door open when Grimmer stepped out. He was still wearing the….

Tenma couldn’t meet his eyes. He just muttered a swift _excuse me_ and moved past. Grimmer's eyes had definitely followed him then.

* * *

Tenma spent that first break with Boyer. Even though it was a rest period for Grimmer, the doctors themselves were otherwise occupied; data was transferred from the observation deck to the main network, reports were documented….it was busywork, but they were left occupied. Boyer was spending that time showing Tenma around the rest of the facility campus. 

There was a residential area where the Ajin all lived. It was made to look like a quaint little neighbourhood; modest houses with red roofs, small grassy yards, a barrier gate between the main building and the residences. Apparently Ajin could mull about freely there, and even within the Facility’s guest floors. They had to be escorted at all times in any locations that _weren’t_ otherwise designated as guest-friendly or operation rooms. If they wanted to leave the facility _entirely,_ they had to be accompanied by an escort - really anyone who worked at the facility and wasn’t otherwise occupied. Usually it was someone from the team they were assigned to. It was also required that the escort check back with the facility every hour, and tracking _had_ to be active at all times. They were free to go wherever they wanted, for whatever reason they wanted, but they were under surveillance. “To protect them”, was what Boyer had said.

Tenma got the rest of his paperwork done in that time, too. He now had a temporary building pass - apparently he’d only be “officially” entered into the system tomorrow, after the system reset itself - and he’d get his new card on the way in. He now also had a locker, and a workstation for when the operation room closed down and the doctors had to finalize their reports. Everything was coming together smoothly. Only now he wasn’t….. _sure_ about all of this. Not after what he just saw.

It was possible that he just happened to start work on a bad day. It was possible their other procedures were gentler on the Ajin. And besides that…..it _was_ a consensual arrangement. The Ajin knew what they were getting into. They were aware of what was happening. And when he wasn’t standing at that operating table, Boyer had seemed pleasant toward Grimmer, and the latter hadn’t seemed wary at all.

He didn’t want to make an immediate judgement when his first day hadn’t even finished. They still had another round of testing before Grimmer’s day was called done, and after that….Tenma would let the next few days be the judge.

But even saying that…..the second time around was no easier than the first.

He couldn’t justify it. No matter how he ran it through his head….

Boyer snapped Grimmer’s neck twice that time. Each time, when he came to, those eyes burned into Tenma until he was put under again. And when it was done, Zeman and Boyer were still acting so…nonchalant. They handed him a new gown, thanked him, let him leave and started cleaning up the bloody mess left behind. Up above, Reid just snapped his pen to his clipboard and called it a day.

For them, it really _was_ just that easy.

* * * * * *

Packing up his things to leave, Tenma was waved down by a bright, if tired-looking, Boyer. He turned to his supervisor, managing something reminiscent of a smile, though certainly not anything _happy_. 

“I heard from Reid that you were a bit overwhelmed. Everything all right, Tenma? Are there any concerns you wanted to bring forward?”

There were, but bringing them up was….he wasn’t sure how wise that would be. But if he could do it diplomatically….Boyer _did_ seem genuinely concerned...

“I’ve just never seen this sort of project before. I wasn’t sure what to expect.”

Boyer gave a nod. “I thought that might be it. Working in a hospital, failure is the end of the line for you. Once a patient dies, that’s it. But for us it’s just another part of the process. Ajin regenerative capabilities are absolutely phenomenal; I can’t stress enough what they do for us. We’re able to perform tests that would otherwise be impossible. There’s only so much we can learn from a traditional lab setting. This sort of process speeds things up exponentially.” He gave a sympathetic smile not unlike the one Reid had given him. “If you think about it this way…are you familiar with the phrase, ‘the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few’? In this scenario, there’s no real loss. An Ajin’s sacrifice is temporary, but it allows us to save countless many more lives. If you think about that as a doctor…you can see the appeal. We’re protecting them from outside dangers, and in exchange they help us progress that much faster.”

He made it sound reasonable, but in a way...that only made that uncertainty feel worse.

* * *

Tenma didn’t sleep at all that night.

He kept turning over everything that was said in his mind. About Ajin…..about their great service within HAMSA, about the benefits to their placement in the facility, about how much good they were doing. It hadn’t sounded right, and the more he turned it in his mind, the stranger it seemed. There was one….one thing in particular...he hadn’t caught on, not right away, but now that he was turning that day’s events in his head….something Reid said when he was explaining the process...what was it? He couldn’t remember exactly….but he recalled one part….

_because an Ajin resets itself after death, we’re able to operate differently than with a human._

Itself. _It. The Ajin_ , not the man, not the patient, not Grimmer.

Before and after the procedures, they had been kind to him. They introduced Tenma to him, asked if he would be ready to start, talked and chatted with him normally. They weren’t _malicious_ during the procedures, it was purely objective and scientific. But there was...definitely a skewed perception of Mr. Grimmer. He _wasn’t_ treated equally. Their apparent kindness and personability toward him masked it somewhat, but it didn’t quite feel like they were addressing another human.

With those uncomfortable swirling thoughts, he did manage to reach unconsciousness. But it wasn’t a restful sleep; dreams had him catapulting awake, feeling like he’d _lost_ more sleep than he’d gained in that time.

It had been a surreal scene; it wasn’t unlike his day at work. He was in the observation room, looking down. He wasn’t sure whose perspective he took in that dream, if he was someone else, but when he looked down, he saw _himself_ at that table, operating on that tall Ajin. He remembered hearing himself speak, documenting a success, calling for the Tenma below to reset the subject.

Whatever God existed had been merciful to wake him then, before that moment could play itself out any further. He’d woken to an elevated heart rate and damp skin, an uncomfortable crawling feeling traversing along his flesh in a shudder. But, that other thing that had felt wrong...that he hadn’t been so sure of at the time….he recognized it now, after watching himself in that twisted scene. He could see and hear it all; his face, his voice. What he couldn’t place before…

It was apathy. Reid and Newman had taken an apathetic approach to the entire procedure - commenting on findings, quietly lamenting a failure, and most jarringly, Reid taking a moment to show Tenma how to use the database - all while a man was being subjected to extremely risky experiments that, more often than not, proved fatal. That he could so easily direct Tenma on such a menial task, and then make casual jokes about a doctor’s busywork…

He had a lot to think about coming in the next day.

* * * * *

As it turned out, day two was going to be a lot simpler than day one. They weren’t in the operating room all day; Grimmer wasn’t taking part in any experiments for the day. Zeman had shown him the Ajins’ schedules; Grimmer’s slated days out of the operation room were tuesday and friday. Every Ajin had at least one ‘ideal’ day off; either the weekend itself, or the Friday immediately before. That meant that today was strictly a reporting day. That wasn’t terrible...setting up at his workspace, listening to casual office banter….it was also a different environment from the hospital - much more laidback and casual - but it felt more appropriate.

In part, at least.

They were still writing reports about their findings from what Tenma could only refer to as human experimentation. That cloud of apathy was still present, still weighing on him. Tenma almost wondered what might have happened if he had started today instead of the day prior; he might have engaged their banter a little more, found their attitudes personable and welcoming, thought the detail to their reports was excellent. But seeing first hand what they were doing…

He was glad when Boyer came around and told him to take lunch. Tenma had entirely lost track of time, but he was glad to be able to leave. It felt stifling.

He didn’t really feel like eating, though.

He went outside, leaving his jacket in his locker, choosing instead to just...enjoy the fresh air. There was a nice little courtyard beyond the gates between the facility and the Ajin residence. It was open to anyone on-site, and had a decent view, with some nice picnic tables. It seemed like a good place to clear his head. He swiped his card, the gates opening to reveal the courtyard on the other side.

Grimmer was there, sitting at one of the picnic tables. He turned, smiling when he saw Tenma, and waved. “Good afternoon, Doctor! Would you like to join me?”

_No, he couldn’t._

Even smiling like that, with such a genuinely jovial expression, all Tenma could see was tired, delirious eyes staring up at him, watching him through the glass. He offered a sheepish smile as he made toward a different table, shaking his head. “That’s all right, I don’t want to trouble you.”

Grimmer’s smile faltered, still present but much less pronounced as he looked over the Japanese man. “Could you be avoiding me, Doctor?”

Tenma froze, feeling a jolt down his spine. “....No. I just…”

“What is it that you’re hiding from?”

Of course he was hiding. Of course he was avoiding Grimmer. He still couldn’t even meet his eyes, not after that. He had smiled at the man, said he was pleased to be working with him, shook his hand, and then stood behind a glass wall and watched….just _watched._

But now there was no avoiding a conversation. He couldn’t leave this be.

Slowly, he turned toward Grimmer, reluctantly taking a seat opposite to him, his eyes fixed on the wooden table. He felt a lump growing in his stomach, heavy and uneasy.

“It’s just….”

How could he put it into words? _I watched as your rights as a human being were violated and took notes, I have a hard time facing your smile right now._

“Could you possibly feel guilty…?”

Tenma felt the twitch of his eye, jerking his head up to look at Grimmer fully then. He still had a smile, but it looked so tired. _He_ looked tired. But he also looked understanding.

Tenma opened his mouth, drawing in a deep breath. He made to speak, but no sound came out. He still didn’t have the words to speak. Grimmer didn’t seem bothered, though, and in fact seemed perfectly content to do the talking himself.

“I was watching you, doctor. When I reset and woke up, I saw your face each time.”

_Reset…..the way he said it…_

“Do you want to know what I think, Doctor?”

No. He didn’t. 

“Out of all the doctors that I have met in this place, you are the only one to have such a sad face. I think that you weren’t prepared for this.”

'Weren't prepared'. Unprepared was a damn understatement.

Tenma grit his teeth, closing his eyes. “....You’re right.”

“Ah, good, you answered…!”

Tenma’s eyes flicked up, narrowing slightly at the cheery tone the Ajin took. He just….despite everything he sounded so laidback, relaxed. Tenma glanced down again, clasping both hands together on the table now, a bit looser and more at ease than before.

“It’s not what I was expecting.”

Grimmer gave an airy hum, looking up at the sky, so carefree in his ways. 

“I think I’m the same. I really didn’t know what sorts of testing I would be subjected to. They were very informative, but it’s a little different hearing it, and being told, than when you’re lying on that table, unable to think clearly because of the drugs in your system, dipping in and out of consciousness, with all those faces standing around. It’s quite an experience.”

Tenma could feel his stomach twist in knots. “Then…..why do you do it?”

Grimmer gave a shrug, leaning forward and trying to catch Tenma’s gaze. It was still hard to maintain eye contact, but he did this time. Knowing that Grimmer recognized that he didn’t want any part of this helped.

“To be honest, it’s the safest way to live. It’s true that what they do to me here is unpleasant, but you know...it could be a lot worse. Humans are capable of such horrible things, even to one another. An Ajin is the perfect outlet for the worst of human behaviours. They can do anything to us, beat us within an inch of our lives, and when we die, it can start all over again. At least living in this place, I’m protected from that sort of life, living in fear of what could happen to me. And, I suppose it’s for a good cause, progressing medical science...my own life won’t ever be improved by it, but, there are good people who could benefit, and I suppose that’s a pleasant sort of reward.”

The way he put it….only made Tenma’s mind clearer. This time he was the one to direct the eye contact, his expression a little more stern, a little more serious.

“You’re saying you came to this place...because you feel trapped. Like there’s no other way.”

“When you put it like that...I suppose that’s right, isn’t it?”

Then that alone…..any reservations that Tenma may have had… _they’re consenting to this procedure, they’re fully aware of what they’re getting into._ There was a difference between...real, genuine consent, and the realization that if they turned down this offer, they’d just wind up somewhere worse.

“So, Doctor. You'll be taking the place of Doctor Zeman, is that right…?”

His heart skipped again. “That's….”

He…..after that dream, and...now, after talking to Grimmer, he wasn’t sure that he...

“I'm glad. I think you genuinely care about Ajins. I don't think it would be so bad, if you were the one, Doctor.”

There was a stifling silence, Grimmer looking out into the distance. “It's always felt strange to me, the way they smile afterward. They're very personable, and engaging, but I find that difficult to appreciate. It's hard not to see those same smiles, when I'm lying there. Behind the masks...all I can see is their eyes. They look very cold. And, I don’t know...” He gave an awkward little chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck, turning a crinkly smile on Tenma. “I find it a bit jarring, to be so suddenly engaged like that, after they’d just moments ago been referring to me as some unspecified subject for their work!”

Everything that Grimmer said just made him feel worse. Everything about this…..left a sense of dread in him, dread and discomfort. 

The fact that Grimmer thought he would be “better” because he genuinely seemed to care about Ajins...that he noticed the apathy too, that he felt his wellbeing was brushed aside by false friendliness, that _all_ of this was just to escape from something worse….it all spoke volumes to Tenma. And he knew...he _knew_ there was no way he could do it. Willfully causing harm to a living being…. _killing_ him in the worst cases…

No.

Grimmer shifted, glancing at his wristwatch, before standing suddenly. “Ah….if you’ll excuse me, Doctor. I should probably get going. I very much enjoyed our chat, though, and...perhaps you wouldn’t mind if we continued to have discussions like this, from time to time?”

Tenma blinked, nodding. “I….don’t mind. I’d like that.”

Grimmer seemed pleased, but waited a moment, looking over the doctor silently. “You really should eat something, doctor. You don’t look very well.”

He couldn’t speak up before Grimmer had turned away.

* * *

The longer he spent in this place….the harder it became to watch. It was like a knife to his heart every time. When Grimmer was killed, when he revived, he always looked at Tenma. Tenma, who had “sad” eyes, who somehow brought comfort to the Ajin. Tenma, who very soon….in the next couple of weeks….would be down there with him, participating in this near-torture if Boyer had his way.

But he _wouldn’t_ have his way.

Tenma’s resolve was built, unshakeable. This was unlawful, these experiments infringed on Grimmer’s basic rights as a human, and he himself only allowed these doctors to use him in their tests because the alternative evil was worse. But he was still _suffering,_ they were still _hurting_ him, _killing_ him, and then had the audacity to try to justify it, glorifying him and the other Ajins as if what he was doing was some beautiful sacrifice in the name of medicine while casually taking notes on his latest fatality.

He wasn’t going to just stand by and watch.

But he wasn’t going to be _stupid,_ either.

He hated it, he _hated_ what he was doing, but for the next several days Tenma….did as he was told. He operated efficiently, quickly, he even let himself join in some of the chatter, the banter, when it didn’t make him feel completely ill. He let himself fit into the environment as best as he could, engaging Reid from time to time and asking about mundane, trivial nothings. The more he asked about day-to-day events, the more he seemed acclimatized to the environment, the more easily he could engage with Boyer, Reid, Zeman, and Newman. But, he always made sure that Grimmer could see him, when he first woke from his death. If it gave him comfort, then he wouldn’t take that away.

That first week felt longer than it should have. During that time, Becker was a blessing. He wasn’t the most competent of doctors, but he was a competent friend, aware enough that Tenma was struggling with the new work, kind enough to take him out for drinks, responsible enough to keep him from going overboard. That was an irony; Becker hadn’t ever been very good at keeping track of his own health, but he had always been able to mind his friends.

Right now, more than ever, Tenma appreciated it.

But now, Boyer and the others seemed to be more open around him. He hated the feeling it gave him, letting himself fit into their environment, but they no longer looked at him with that concern he might suddenly break down, or feel the need to reassure him that _the Ajin knew what he was getting into he’s fine with this, he knows_ \- they just got on with their day, and he with his. He spent his lunch breaks with them, and with Grimmer, intermittently. Grimmer noted that he’d managed to fit himself into the workplace quite well, even seemed gladdened by it. Apparently Zeman in particular had a distaste toward Ajins, and while he kept himself professional, he was the worst offender for casual discrimination, something that Grimmer would be glad to be rid of.

But even then he didn’t act, not yet. 

It wasn’t until Grimmer made a request to leave the facility the next Friday that he made his first move.

“I don’t mind taking him myself, sir.”

He kept his voice even, his body language relaxed, shrugging one shoulder nonchalantly. Ordinarily - from what he’d heard - it was Boyer or Reid who would act as the escort, but if he could just get them to listen….

“Hm? You sure about that, Tenma? I thought you had to finish reporting.”

“I...well I already finished that.” He gave a sheepish shrug, chuckling to himself, “I guess I got a little carried away this morning….”

“All right, then, in that case, go ahead. Lord knows if you’ve been working that hard you need some sunlight.”

There was laughter from the others, and Tenma gave his own polite chuckle in response. Boyer clapped his shoulder. “Just make sure you keep your phone on so we can track you two. I’m not so worried about Grimmer doing anything like trying to make a run for it, but if someone figures out he’s an Ajin it could be trouble. Y’know how it is.”

“Yeah….”

That was the easy part. But now…..it only got harder from here.

* * * * *  
Tenma waved to Claire as he checked both himself and Grimmer out of the facility, taking them to his car. Grimmer waved too, offering a smile that seemed to brighten the one on her face. There was no rush as they walked down through to the parking lot, settled into his car, buckled themselves in. It really was as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. And as far as Grimmer knew, there _was_ nothing abnormal. Tenma turned on the radio, though kept the volume decently low so they could still converse.

“I’m surprised, doctor. It sounds as though you’ve become very successful already, and it’s only barely been over a week! Boyer is quite pleased with you.”

Tenma tried to smile, but it felt tired on his face. He didn’t really know how to answer that, but Grimmer didn’t seem too bothered. He relaxed, leaning back against the carseat. “Normally, I’m relegated to taking these trips with Boyer. I’m glad that you’re the one today, doctor Tenma.”

Again, there was no answer. Tenma’s expression had grown serious, even a little anxious, now that they were far enough away from that place. Grimmer seemed to notice the change in the atmosphere, one hand gripping gently at his seatbelt. There was a wariness about him that Tenma could feel, just as well as Grimmer could feel his own anxious energy.

“Is….everything all right, doctor…?”

Tenma’s grip on the steering wheel tensed, his eyes narrowing.

“You’re free now.”

There was a pause, a sickly silence, Grimmer’s expression shifting to one of sheer confusion.

“Huh?”

Tenma swallowed, taking a deep breath, letting it out _slowly_. “I said…..you’re free now. From that place. From...all of it.”

The silence deepened. Tenma was sure he could drown in it. The absence of sound deafened him, but he kept driving. Kept driving because he said he would do this, he said he would save Grimmer, and he wasn’t going to stop now. He wasn’t taking him back to that place. He wasn’t watching any more as he was subjected to more and more experiments, he _certainly_ wasn’t taking notes on it or writing reports as if he hadn’t just watched a man die countless times to achieve those results, and he _definitely_ wasn’t going to _join_ them in causing this, or any Ajin, any more pain and suffering. 

When the silence continued, when he felt that questioning look from Grimmer, Tenma was the one to finally fill it, quietly, but with determination in his tone.

“I’ve made up my mind.”

He knew Grimmer was looking at him, and wanted to turn, to see his expression, but while they were on the road, he couldn’t afford it. The Ajin’s voice was enough to tell him, though, how he was probably feeling.

“You realize this is very dangerous for you, doctor.”

There was shock….undoubtedly he hadn’t expected this. Wariness - understandable, Tenma had effectively abducted Grimmer without any forewarning, so of course he would be on edge, and…..concern. But not concern for his own safety; concern for Tenma’s.

He brought them to a stop, the engine shuddering to a halt, but Tenma made no move to leave just yet. He didn’t look at Grimmer, either, his gaze focused outward. 

“That first night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about everything I saw. And when I did sleep, I imagined...that _I_ was the one down there, with you. And I know….I _know…_ I wouldn’t be able to do it. As a doctor, and as a human...it goes against everything I stand for. A doctor is supposed to _save_ lives...but that doesn’t mean it should be at the cost of anyone else. Human….Ajin…..there’s no difference. I can’t do that to you or anyone else.”

Grimmer seemed to relax as he spoke, unbuckling himself as he turned to look at Tenma more fully then. “I was right about you, Doctor. You do care, certainly more than they do. But, you’re still forgetting that even out here, the rest of the world has no love for an Ajin. I’m no safer here than I was before.”

“No, that’s wrong. You _are._ Not everyone….” Tenma turned, his eyes glistening brightly with emotion. “Not all humans are horrible….are like that...are like them. You have to believe….you don’t know for sure what will happen. So long as you stay there, with those doctors, you _will_ suffer...they _will_ hurt you...but out here….you don’t _know_...you don’t _know_. You don’t have to put yourself through that….not when there’s a chance that you can be _free--”_

He had to stop there, drawing slow breaths, the tension in his chest starting to hurt. He believed so strongly in those words….in freedom. He shook his head, finally meeting Grimmer’s eyes. “You don’t have to suffer.”

* * *

Ah.

Doctor Tenma was….very kind.

He had felt something was strange, when Tenma had been the one assigned as his escort. That had been unusual….and, with the way he had begun to integrate himself with the other doctors, he had begun to wonder. It was true that he felt Tenma was perhaps the kindest doctor, and the most preferred to perform the tests, but the influence of the others couldn’t go ignored. He couldn’t ignore the possibility that he would become the way they were, that his eyes would become cold over time. But it was strange, that first week….

Within days, everything about Tenma had changed, except for his eyes. He seemed to behave just the same as the others, but, there was always that sorrowful kindness in his eyes. He was glad of that. It gave him somewhere to focus, in between tests, when he was fading between consciousness and unconsciousness. Something certain and concrete, grounding.

But even so, he _had_ been wary, when Tenma started behaving strangely. And now this….ah….

Freedom was such a strange concept. Freedom for an Ajin….Tenma meant well, definitely, but did he know….just what danger he was in now? He had abducted and released property of the Government without permission….betrayed the trust of his colleagues...if he went through with this, Tenma would be just as much a wanted man as Grimmer.

Yet, that speech of his….as awkwardly as it was delivered, the weight behind those words was heard. It was all very raw, very full of emotion. He seemed to be struggling to get it all out, stumbling a little on his words. Then, this was something that Tenma felt very strongly about...and probably couldn’t be convinced any differently.

Grimmer sighed, that tired sort of smile returning as he gave a nonchalant shrug. “Then I guess...I’m free whether I like it or not!”

Tenma really was very kind.

It was Grimmer who made the first move to get out of the car, Tenma following swiftly after, almost as though he feared Grimmer would bolt without him. It was a possibility, and one that would keep Tenma safe. But, he certainly didn’t want to cause the good doctor any unnecessary worry or hurt. And that would definitely happen if he were to flee…

“You’ll need to dispose of that phone of yours, and probably your car. Ah….and we’ll need a new look, both of us….” He huffed, glancing at the bewildered-looking doctor. He probably hadn’t thought this all very far ahead. “I suppose that will be our first stop, then. Shall we go….?”

* * *

Tenma hadn’t been sure what would happen once they left that place. But now, the more Grimmer spoke, the clearer it was starting to become. This _wasn’t_ going to be easy. He’d known that, but now the gravity of it all was starting to weigh on him. He didn’t regret it, what he’d done. But he knew now...there probably was no going back for him. Not just to that place, but….there was a good chance that HAMSA would contact Eisler Memorial Hospital. He probably wasn’t going to have a job to go back to, a place to hide. The world was no safer for him, now, than it was for Grimmer.

He left his phone in his car - they weren’t going back for it, from now on they couldn’t be seen in anything that would identify either of them. They’d stopped to give their outfits a change - Tenma in jeans and a blue hooded sweater, while Grimmer wore a blue-green jacket over a blue undershirt. Even if their faces could still be seen, they could easily pull their hoods up and keep from sight to some degree.

The weather was starting to turn overcast, an ironic echo of their own current mood.

“It’s not too late for you to turn back, Doctor, even now. You can say that I forced you to disobey orders, that I threatened you.”

Tenma glanced up at the Ajin, narrowing his eyes. “No. I’m not doing that. Whatever happens now….this is _my_ responsibility. I was the one who did this.”

Grimmer chuckled, though the sound was more tired than it was humoured. “You know, Doctor Tenma, you were definitely right. Not all humans are horrible. I think...you’re a very kind human, and selfless, but also...a little bit foolish. You’re very lucky, that I have experience with this sort of thing.” He looked up, pulling his hood over his head. Tenma noticed that now, the smile he seemed to be wearing almost constantly was gone. He just looked so _tired_ now.

“Until I discovered HAMSA, I had to learn how to hide, and to protect myself. You asked me to believe in the good part of humanity...but all that time, I could only see those horrible people willing to sell out their friends to the government, or abuse them themselves, those who would abduct us off the street for our organs….it wasn’t easy.”

All Tenma could do was stare, those guilty, painful pangs digging deeper. He couldn’t imagine…..

“...How did you do it?”

Grimmer glanced at him, leading them down a more secluded path now, further and further away from his car. They hadn’t been gone long, but eventually, Boyer and the others would start to get suspicious. His phone hadn’t moved from that spot in a while….

“How much do you know about Ajins, doctor?”

“Only….the way that you find out you’re an Ajin. You have to die.”

Grimmer nodded, glancing toward Tenma. “That’s all, is it? They didn’t tell you much...but then, I suppose the rest isn’t important for a doctor in your position….but, an Ajin has more weapons than immortality. We do have defenses. Two of them. The first is a paralysing scream….you’d best cover your ears if I tell you to, Doctor. And the other….well…”

Tenma hadn’t been sure _what_ he was expecting to see, but when an enormous, black creature that seemed to be made of ribbons of dust appeared beside Grimmer, he couldn’t help the startle that forced him backward, and then to his knees. He knew that Grimmer was only showing him as a demonstration, but the brief spike of fear had his adrenaline going, beaded sweat across his brow. Grimmer was looking down at him, while that…...black _thing_ stood off to the side, ominous, unmoving, its….head?....bowed.

“Can you see it?” 

Grimmer’s voice was gently spoken, somewhat calming. _It’s all right. It’s fine…._

Tenma hadn’t at all been prepared for that. The best he could manage was to nod. This was far too much too quickly; whatever that was…..it wasn’t what he expected. 

“This is my ghost. Not all Ajin are able to summon them...so I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a name for him. I call him Steiner. He is a very powerful ally, strong….and, most of the time, humans are unable to see him. But you….you are able to see him, right now, aren’t you? I don’t know, fully, why that is...” His expression softened. “But you should know, Doctor. He won’t hurt you. You are a friend to me, so there is no need for you to be afraid.”

Somehow it was Grimmer, now, soothing Tenma. When he was the one who was most in danger….who had the most to lose….he somehow….

It was starting to rain now, but neither man seemed to care. Rain was the least of their problems. Things were going to be very difficult for them going forward. But for now, they just stood in the quet, allowing the rain to wash away at least a small amount of that burden, the strange black beast fading away, melted by the rain. The silence stretched, and slowly the tension lifted. Tenma looked up, staring into the dark clouds. It looked….like it might keep raining for a while. He followed Grimmer into relative shelter - they were soaked, but at least they weren’t getting any _more_ wet now. He turned toward the taller man.

“Do you mind if I ask……” He hesitated. But….he’d already started, and Grimmer was looking at him. He swallowed. “.....how you died? The first time...”

There was a short pause. Grimmer didn’t look at him, but he didn’t seem to be upset. 

“My wife, my son and I. We were in a very terrible accident. All three of us were killed, along with the driver and passengers of the other vehicle. And of all involved, I was the only one who came back.” There was no outward change, but Tenma knew that memory was painful, by the way he refused to look the doctor in the eye. 

“I’m sorry.”

Grimmer shrugged, giving a wry smile that lasted but a moment. “You shouldn’t be. Don’t apologise for the past. It’s better to accept it, and move forward.” 

Wise words. Tenma nodded, but he still couldn’t help the sympathetic look he shot Grimmer. He lost his family…..and immediately had to start running from _everyone,_ unable to trust a single person not to turn him in or torture him themselves. What kind of a life…..

“I’m very grateful to you, Doctor. You gave me pleasant memories in that place. You spoke to me like an equal. But I wonder...why is it that you cared? Why risk your career on an Ajin?”

Tenma narrowed his eyes. “Because your life is worth just as much as any human’s. And what they were doing...what they were doing to you….there’s nothing…. _nothing_ that can justify it. They kept telling me…you volunteered for this, that it was fine, but when I spoke to you that first time...what you said..you felt trapped...like there was no other way. There’s no way...there’s no way to justify that...or how they talked about you...but you…..”

He reached out, gripping onto the Ajin’s shoulders, shaking his head. “You don’t deserve...you deserve so much _better_ than that. No one...no one should ever have to choose between two evils, you should be able to live however you want….to be _free…_ not treated like a damn _tool.”_

There was a pause, Grimmer looking down, tired, uncertain, before he finally reached out, placing a hand on Tenma’s shoulder; Tenma, who was now struggling to keep mixed anger, sadness and disgust at bay.

“You know….I wasn’t the only one there, don’t you? You know there are others, even now.”

There it was again, the heaviness in his stomach, the lump in his throat.

“I know.”

“Don’t you think...they deserve the same freedom, Doctor?”

He looked out into the pouring rain, further into the distance. He hadn’t met the other Ajins, but he could only imagine what they were going through. Maybe even right this moment. Slowly, he nodded. “It won’t be easy.”

“No, you’re right, it won’t. But this…” Grimmer gave Tenma’s shoulder a squeeze, looking at him with an expression that seemed….peaceful. It was the first time he’d seen it.

“You made me feel safe, for a short time, when you were there. And you’ve reminded me of what it feels like to be free to choose. I’d like….the same thing for them, if that’s possible. Of course...I don’t expect you to help me, Doctor. I couldn’t ask that. Not when you’ve already done so much for me.”

Tenma removed one of his hands from Grimmer's shoulders, placing it over his hand and giving a light squeeze.

“You don’t have to ask. I’m _going_ to help you.”

Tenma’s hand was warm. As warm as his heart, and his smile, and as warm as the feeling of liberty, the realization of freedom, that washed over the Ajin.

**Author's Note:**

> Ughhhhhghhhhhh that was mean to write LMAO. Ugh. I left it off in a little “and the adventure continues” because I have _no_ idea how long I’d drag this out if I didn’t XD It’s not exactly a quick fix story…..but at least this way it ends in a sort of heartwarming way right?
> 
> In my mind, Becker winds up getting roped into this because goddang his stupid doctor friend bit off way more than he can chew and Becker, unlike the other doctors at Eisler Memorial Hospital, isn't 100% a dick and would probably care about the Ajins. Then the BKA gets involved and basically the plot of Monster happens....
> 
> I may revisit it once I’m done with my noir project but for now I’mma call this complete. 
> 
> Now I need to go…...write about Grimmer hugging a puppy or something equally cute bye


End file.
